Today I learned that one of my children has sleep apnea and that she needs to have her tonsils and adenoids taken out. The thought of putting my child through any kind of surgery is unsettling and frightening but I know that it has to be done. I know that we will be scared, but this is a one-time thing and then we're done with it. It's an outpatient procedure with a few days of recovery at home. Each day I open my email and have the reminders of parents who are in a constant state of fear and worry as they deal with watching their children fight leukemia. That is a battle that takes several years and then there is the nagging fear of relapse. I read their CaringBridge updates and my heart breaks into a million little pieces for them all over again. Tonight I give thanks for my healthy children. Yes, we have to have surgery, but that is nothing compared to the hell that these sweet little children go through to fight the monster of childhood cancer.
Tonight I lost a friend that I've had since elementary school. I have so many conflicting emotions right now. I'm mad and I'm sad and I'm devastated and my heart absolutely aches for the two little girls who have been left behind. I've walked that path and I know the heartache of your daddy missing all of the big moments in your life - prom, graduation, going to college, getting married, having children. I wouldn't wish that fate on my worst enemy. My friend was only forty years old. He served our country as a young Marine and then re-enlisted in the Guard after 9/11. He did not die in combat, but he wasn't afraid to do so. I give thanks for him, his spirit, and others like him. Because of men and women like him, I am free to write whatever the hell I want out in here in cyberspace or just about any other place where I feel so inclined. Tonight I'll have a beer, listen to some classic Zeppelin, and remember the good times that I shar...
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